This is the end.
yes. I think you can tel why the caption is "this is the end". I broke up with my sunshine. I never thought my perfect relationship will end up like this. Tragic? Yes. I think its true that i always have bad romance.
It started with little fight. Well.. i ddnt know what made him really pissed off. We were just talking bout something, like he asked me question. I ddnt realize that my opinion made him so pissed off. I know that something wasnt right. So i asked him and tried to break the ice. Hes a straight forward person. But i dont knw why lately he kept doing like me. Told me that everything was okay. So I continued to watch Friends series. stupid me, knowing that he wasn't okay, i kept continuing to watch it. Until 3 episodes. So I asked him and he was really mad at me. I was shocked! Like i ddnt do anything to him. And he said all whats on his head. And said that it was too late for me to say sorry and to made him feel better. Short-long story... it was sad day for me. And he found out that i told him untrue story bout my past. And we fought, i cried and as I promised him before... to break up with me if i keep doing the same mistake again. It was my 1st anniversary in kuwait. I planned to spent my time with him with joy and happiness. But it turned out into disaster:(((
The next day... i think he pretended to be okay cause he knew that yesterday was really bad day for me. (I really appreciated it mazen. U made me smile and laugh and happy even before we broke up). He took me to the cinema, i cooked dinner for us, and we did book hotel for our second (and probably our last) and it was my first time to decide the hotel and stuff. I was happy, he gave me bis smile and he kissed me he hugged me like he ddnt hurt at all, when deep inside i knw his heart broken 😢 He asked "you seemed so happy. You forget that we are breaking up?" I got heartache after heard it. And i wanted to cry, I wanted to beg him like yesterday to stay but I promised and i need to fulfill it. I dnt deserve him. He forgave me somany times. So answered him "umm.. just dont wanna remember bout it" and i rplied him with smile.
We finished booking the hotel around 1:30ish. Supposed to finish it by 1am, since he works morning.
I cant sleep. I ddnt want tomorrow come. Cause i know when i woke up, everything would be different. I couldnt help my tears. I cried, he noticed. He cuddle me. He let me to sleep in his arm. Like always. He held me tight. I held him even tighter. "Ill miss this moment so much" i said it in my mind. But somehow i felt asleep. And after sometime I found out he ddnt cuddle me till morning like before. I was sad. He changed already. Even when he woke up, he ddnt give me morning kisses like he used to do. Said "goodmorning sweetheart" it was different. He was cold. I made him breakfast. He still kissed me and hugged me, but it felt so different. He was off to work.
I couldnt help but cry. Packing some of my stuffs, knowing that it was my last time in his place. I lost my home. Home that i always ran to when everything happened. I planned to leave early but i jjst cant. I kept crying. I left frm his place around 1pm. He told me to keep the key, but i left it under his mat and said "i dnt wanna get hurt knowing that ull ask the key cause u got someone new" and he said, okay. Do whatever you want.
Oh gosh.. how i hurt when i left the key, i wanted to keep it but i cant.
Its been sometime i kept crying. Everything just remind me of him. Till today, i texted him bout how i miss us, and what i can do to make him happy. And he said, "actually I really wanna blocked you, cause it makes me remembering you" i was shocked and I started to think that he really wanted me to go. He wants to get rid of me. I was in training that time. I held my tears. I think ppl noticed but they just pretended that i was okay.
Hmm.. i think ill end up living alone with myself :( it hurts me alot. I dont wanna break up. And what hurt the most is... we will have our second trip. And after the trip, i will never see him anymore. I need to be independent just like before. Being strong. Its true that nothing is last forever. Even the person who kept telling you that he loves you will go eventually. Youll be missed. All i can do now, just keep myself not to be with mobile all the time. Cause hes the only person that text me everyday. It takes time to let go. But ill try to let him go. Thankyou for these past 5 months. It was beautiful. Thankyou for everything Mazen. You r the best thing i ever had. You tried to follow me. You tried to being silly. You never yell at me, you still hugging me when i made u mad. I dnt know who will treat me like this. Im sorry for keep doing the same mistake. This post is ur last post in my blog. And this blog gonna be me and my day. No more you. Im gonna miss to write something bout us. I miss us. And i love you.
P.s today is our 5 months to be together. And sadly we broke up.
It started with little fight. Well.. i ddnt know what made him really pissed off. We were just talking bout something, like he asked me question. I ddnt realize that my opinion made him so pissed off. I know that something wasnt right. So i asked him and tried to break the ice. Hes a straight forward person. But i dont knw why lately he kept doing like me. Told me that everything was okay. So I continued to watch Friends series. stupid me, knowing that he wasn't okay, i kept continuing to watch it. Until 3 episodes. So I asked him and he was really mad at me. I was shocked! Like i ddnt do anything to him. And he said all whats on his head. And said that it was too late for me to say sorry and to made him feel better. Short-long story... it was sad day for me. And he found out that i told him untrue story bout my past. And we fought, i cried and as I promised him before... to break up with me if i keep doing the same mistake again. It was my 1st anniversary in kuwait. I planned to spent my time with him with joy and happiness. But it turned out into disaster:(((
The next day... i think he pretended to be okay cause he knew that yesterday was really bad day for me. (I really appreciated it mazen. U made me smile and laugh and happy even before we broke up). He took me to the cinema, i cooked dinner for us, and we did book hotel for our second (and probably our last) and it was my first time to decide the hotel and stuff. I was happy, he gave me bis smile and he kissed me he hugged me like he ddnt hurt at all, when deep inside i knw his heart broken 😢 He asked "you seemed so happy. You forget that we are breaking up?" I got heartache after heard it. And i wanted to cry, I wanted to beg him like yesterday to stay but I promised and i need to fulfill it. I dnt deserve him. He forgave me somany times. So answered him "umm.. just dont wanna remember bout it" and i rplied him with smile.
We finished booking the hotel around 1:30ish. Supposed to finish it by 1am, since he works morning.
I cant sleep. I ddnt want tomorrow come. Cause i know when i woke up, everything would be different. I couldnt help my tears. I cried, he noticed. He cuddle me. He let me to sleep in his arm. Like always. He held me tight. I held him even tighter. "Ill miss this moment so much" i said it in my mind. But somehow i felt asleep. And after sometime I found out he ddnt cuddle me till morning like before. I was sad. He changed already. Even when he woke up, he ddnt give me morning kisses like he used to do. Said "goodmorning sweetheart" it was different. He was cold. I made him breakfast. He still kissed me and hugged me, but it felt so different. He was off to work.
I couldnt help but cry. Packing some of my stuffs, knowing that it was my last time in his place. I lost my home. Home that i always ran to when everything happened. I planned to leave early but i jjst cant. I kept crying. I left frm his place around 1pm. He told me to keep the key, but i left it under his mat and said "i dnt wanna get hurt knowing that ull ask the key cause u got someone new" and he said, okay. Do whatever you want.
Oh gosh.. how i hurt when i left the key, i wanted to keep it but i cant.
Its been sometime i kept crying. Everything just remind me of him. Till today, i texted him bout how i miss us, and what i can do to make him happy. And he said, "actually I really wanna blocked you, cause it makes me remembering you" i was shocked and I started to think that he really wanted me to go. He wants to get rid of me. I was in training that time. I held my tears. I think ppl noticed but they just pretended that i was okay.
Hmm.. i think ill end up living alone with myself :( it hurts me alot. I dont wanna break up. And what hurt the most is... we will have our second trip. And after the trip, i will never see him anymore. I need to be independent just like before. Being strong. Its true that nothing is last forever. Even the person who kept telling you that he loves you will go eventually. Youll be missed. All i can do now, just keep myself not to be with mobile all the time. Cause hes the only person that text me everyday. It takes time to let go. But ill try to let him go. Thankyou for these past 5 months. It was beautiful. Thankyou for everything Mazen. You r the best thing i ever had. You tried to follow me. You tried to being silly. You never yell at me, you still hugging me when i made u mad. I dnt know who will treat me like this. Im sorry for keep doing the same mistake. This post is ur last post in my blog. And this blog gonna be me and my day. No more you. Im gonna miss to write something bout us. I miss us. And i love you.
P.s today is our 5 months to be together. And sadly we broke up.
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