Woop-Woop Adventure!

Till now i still cant understand why u cheated on me. U never want to discuss bout it. U never want to answer all of my questions. And u never help me to rebuild my trust on u. I cant work alone. U need to help me! Rebuilding trust doesn’t come in one night! Itsnt my fault that i dont trust you anymore. Its you who made it everything become worse. I can say that im tired with you too. Im tired to keep thinking that u text her or calling her or just like happened now u might have a romantic walk with her. Hmm ill not do any effort anymore. Im tired tbh. Im tired to be the only one who still trying to make this work when itsnt me who lied and cheated on me. Our relationship was like too good to be true. Like seriously. I dont knw why it has to face this kind of situation.

Maybe alot of people think that im so stupid and so weak. But the truth is im still in love with him and i still wanna be with him and i believe that he loves me too. I make mistakes and he makes it too. No body perfect. All i know loce is not something to exchange. Theres no take and give. Its just unfair if i do good things to him and i want it in return. Itsnt pure love. Im leaving kuwait for goods. Im going to leave him in the next 3 months. Im feeling sad tbh. But my family, especially my mom needs me by her side. I want to be selfish but my heart says i cNt be like this. I love him and i love my mom too. Its so hard for me. I dont wanna lose them. I know i know, mazen might not my the one, but my mom will always be my mom. But if u r in this position ull have the same difficulty like me 😔😔😭😭😭😭 I never feel this in love to someone before, willing to do anything just to make him happy and im happy just to get his hugs as a reward. Silly ya? 😢 ill talk to him tonight. Ill...

Maybe its the time that i really need lose all the expectation from him. I dont feel like hes into me like before. I tried to believe every word he said but it just useless. Hes so cold lately. He will not text me if i dont text him. Well i dont mind to do it :( but everyday? Yea after we broke up, couple days later we both confessed that we still in love each other. Maybe we are getting back. But the more i stay with him, the more i feel like hes just different. And my mom problem makes me wanna go home and makes me sad cause it means im goin to drop all my career and also him. I dnt wanna lose him again. But if the condition is just like this, i think it will be easy for me. I dnt have to think bout him anymore. I could just be selfish. I dont know anymore bout him. I wanna postponed all the talk untill i found the right moment, like hes super busy lately and i work by 3 oclock everyday. When im home hes sleeping. I cant have the proper time to talk bout it. And when i got proper ...

☹️ i Just came to work, and i chopped the vegetables for my mise en place. Not longer after, i got a phone call. I thought it was from mazen but it was from my dad. Tbh i just got a feeling that it might be not good news.  And its true ☹️☹️☹️☹️ Its about her. His love of his life. His everything. Mimi.  He never tell me bout this kind of things actually, like when i was in dubai my mom was hospitalized for few days and he ddnt tell me. But this time js different. He cant tell to amanda, since she just move to china to start her new job and he cant beby cause she got exams. And the only daughter whos been far away from home for almost 3 years is only me :((( he told me with the very calm voice. I bet its so difficult to control it.  He asked me to go home, since my mom is getting worse. She cant do anything just resting on bed. My heart just pain. It hurts. It hurts more that when i broke up with mazen :((( i wanna go home. I want mazen to calm me down. I dnt know wh...

I talked with him yesterday after i slept-over at his place on Saturday. Well it was really wrong decision i guess. All the talks, the open up and everything :( it just made me want him more and expect him to come back to me. “I dont want tomorrow come” i said. He said “why?” “I want us just like how we r now. I dnt knw what will happen tomorrow. Things will be change after we woke up” I answered. He just silent and continued watching movie. And it was right. Nothing really different tbh at morning till night. Yes till night i closed my kitchen. We were talking bout our plan. That i wanted to stay over on Monday night since Tuesday i have my off. But then he told me that i shouldnt come at all to his place, we meet outside and he will pick me up. I freezed, stared at my mobile, i feel my eyes watery :( and suddenly i just remembered the tragedy of 30th of Oct. which he lied to me. So i linked this one with the 30th of oct. i ignore him. I disappointed. I dnt knw what to say. Then ...

Spent my off alone wasnt good idea. I thought I wouldnt cry and be so depressed. Yesterday i spent my off alone reading book in my favorite sbux. I decided to go to this mall cause I planned to watch the movie after. Bt it went not as a plan. I just kept crying and i texted him. I shouldnt text him but i just missed him so much :(( then when i was about to leave, i saw the table which the table that we sat for the first time. So i became more gloomy i spent sometime there, recalled everything and cried. I ddnt notice from where, suddenly theres was a guy came and sat in the same table with me. I said to him that i ddnt wanna talk, i just wanna be alone. But he kept on talking trying to distract me, but he couldn’t. Hes not him who can distract my mind just like that :((( i dont knw if texted mazen that there was random guy sat with me was good idea. He became more worried and kept texting and calling me. And i was so confused that time, i wanna text him but this guy keep talking. I j...